วันศุกร์ที่ 19 มิถุนายน พ.ศ. 2552

and another month later

So I've been home for about 4 weeks now, and it's been suggested to me that I should write a blog post kind of about reverse culture shock and all the things that have been happening to me since getting home. And since today has been a pretty "I miss Thailand and being back in Canada sucks" kind of a day.. I figured it would be a good time to write this blog.

Way back last summer, when I had been in Thailand for about a month, I was starting to feel alot better about the whole being there. The food, language, people, etc. was all starting to feel familiar, and I was starting to feel alot more at home. The total opposite is true for me being back in Canada. When I first got back, it was really exciting to see my family, friends, pets, and my home all again. And although nothing much has changed around here (so you'd think it would be easy for me to just fit right back in).. I feel like I've changed. Alot.

I swear, the first thing I noticed when I was in the Vancouver airport, and for the first time in 11 months I could understand EVERYTHING that EVERYONE was saying.. I realized how much stupid stuff people actually say. At least when I couldn't understand everything I could at least imagine all the Thai people were saying intelligent things. But now it's really apparent to me how so many people just talk for the sake of talking. And I guess I have kind of become more introverted too (which is weird because you'd think exchange would make someone more outgoing).. so I'm not really keen on striking up random conversations about random things. The one thing that I do feel really passionate about talking about is Thailand.... But I quickly found out that people just really don't want to hear about it. I kind of go by the rule that if someone asks me a 3 word question ("how was Thailand?") they get a 3 word answer ("it was good").... oh, and since I turned 19 in Thailand, I came back to Canada legal drinking age (for my province). So one of the first things I did with my older sister when getting back was going to the local bar for dinner and some drinks. and honestly, it was one of the saddest sights I've ever seen (the food was good, though). We went on a Friday night, and it was just packed with all these small town locals.. and obviously this is the big thing they do every Friday night. And I know I'm not one to judge.. and if they are happy with their lives then good on them.. but it just made me really realize how much I do not want to end up like that... I've already had 2 jobs since being back.. the first one sucked, so I was happy when I was offered a new job working as a waitress at the local golf course. But honestly, I never really liked golfing type people very much, and apparently alot of the ladies who I was waitressing on had lots of complaints about the shitty service I was giving them... which kind of sucks for me, but mai bpenrai. I don't want to blame my actions on Thailand... but part of me feels that after being in Thailand for so long I've kind of become somewhat antisocial. (which also seems weird because when I was in Thailand I was trying all kinds of things I would never have done in Canada). and although I guess becoming antisocial is kind of a shitty attribute to pick up, it's helped make me realize that I really need a career where I don't have to deal with people. Honestly, I'm not a people person (again, weird for an exchange student).. or maybe I'm just not a Canadian People Person?? I just need to be a writer who lives in a little cottage in the middle of nowhere on a mountain and has about a million cats. (or dogs.. because lets face it, I'm not a cat person either.) ok, enough for now. actually putting all these things I've been feeling for the last month into words is kind of depressing. I'll update again later when things are (hopefully) looking a little more up.