You Know You're in Thailand When

YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN THAILAND WHEN:
-there are more motorcycles on the road than cars, and it is not uncommon to see three or four people sitting together on one motorcycle
-buses are the fastest moving things on the road, and pass all of the cars/trucks/motorcycles
-you get used to the fact that the whole country is either wearing yellow, pink, or a school uniform
-everything is drank through a straw
-guys carry purses, and sometimes wear short shorts, or have long finger nails (and these aren't even the lady-boys)
-you aren't surprised to see lady-boys walking around
-everyone has an english nickname, and these nicknames are quite often nouns (Apple, Boat, etc)
-the only music you ever hear on the radio is boy bands or other forms of pop
-there are street dogs and cats everywhere, and nobody slows down or even tries not to hit them while they are on the road
-there is no such thing as toilet paper in bathrooms
-the michelin man doesn't wave, he wais
-oranges are green
-a meal is not complete without rice (whether it be sticky or not)
-breakfast consists of rice with dinner leftovers
-all meals are eaten with a spoon and fork (never a fork and knife)
-it is either blisteringly hot outside, or raining
-everyone carries around a facecloth in their pocket to wipe the sweat from their face
-nobody shaves their legs
-nobody wears seatbelts
-little kids just sit on other people's laps in cars (car-seats are unheard of)
-instead of being obsessed with lip gloss, everyone sticks these little smelly things up there nose every few minutes
-you can be in the middle of nowhere, but there will still be a 7-11 nearby
-there is whitening lotion, not tanning lotion
-everyone wears long sleeved shirts and pants and walks around with umbrellas, so they wont get a sun tan
-despite the fact that nobody has a stove, clothes dryer, or a home phone, they all have the most advanced cell phones you've ever seen
-all the Thai people answer their cell phones by saying "hello-ka/krap"